The 5 type of people you meet at EVERY festival. No exception.
The rain clouds are gathering. The portaloos are massing. And daisy chain’s are once again tipped to become this season’s must-have accessory. IOW, festival season’s rearing its hazy head. But whether you’re off to Glastonbury, Reading, Love Box or Leeds, there’s five type of people you’re absolutely 100% without-a-shadow-of-a-doubt guaranteed to meet. Here’s a heads-up…
The Over-Eager newbie
It’s Emma’s first ever year at a festival and believe-you-her, she’s gonna do it ALL. You’ve barely had a chance to adjust to the slightly too-snug fit of your wristband before she’s bounding her way back to the group, perched on the shoulders of some complete stranger – legs caked in mud, face smothered in glitter – in a retina-burning display of glowsticks. It’s a shame then, that come 4 o’clock that same afternoon, when the rest of you are now ready-and-raring to explore, she’s already slumped out in the tent… one giant foam-fingered hand resting woozily on her forehead.
The Glued-to-Phone Millennial
I mean, we’ve all filmed the odd live act, right? You hear the first few bars of your fave song, and suddenly you’re fumbling for your phone, frantically right swiping for camera mode. But when it comes to the glued-to-phone millennial… Firstly, they must have spent the last few months planking for a solid five/ten minutes every day, cos how the hell else could they manage to hold their arm up for the entire duration of a two hour show? And secondly, can someone PLEASE tell me what their phone batteries are made from??!
You’re crawling around on all fours, busy hunting down your left shoe (which decided to go AWOL around ten o’clock last night), when suddenly a herd of hunter wellies come strutting past. You look up the perfectly bronzed legs, past the sewn-off denim hotpants, over the shoulder-baring bardot tops, and come eye-to-aviator with… the fashionistas. Typically in packs, this particular species of festival-goer can usually be found away from the stage, striding arm-in-arm from one exclusive invite-only pop-up, to another. Make way!
The Solo Dancer
Not much is known about the solo dancer; is she with anyone? …when did she turn up? …does she ever take a break? Your guess is as good as ours, but you can bet your bottom dollar she’ll be there, from the moment those festival gates open, to the second they shut, dancing the same old dance in the same old spot. Yes, she might occasionally slow down or speed up, depending on the song, but other than that, she’s pretty consistent; slightly stooped, arms in the air, moving in a semi-circular motion. Whatever you do, DON’T join in.
The Three-Day Hippie
Just yesterday, and Sophia was your typical PR girl; she attended a weekly spin class, watched Made in Chelsea on a Monday night, and loved nothing more than a glass of Prosecco come Saturday afternoon. But 24 hours in, and that girl no longer exists. Now known as Moobeam, she spends her days gracing strangers with complimentary daisy-chains, and her nights as third lead tamborinist of new-age hippie band, Rainbow Juice. She no longer sees the need for shoes, is convinced your hair will eventually wash itself, and is even considering life on the road with the band… Will she be in the office 9 o’ clock sharp, Tuesday morning? Of course she will.
Which festival character’s your fave? Jot it down in the comment bow below, before heading on over to our dedicated festival category; think crowd pleasing gingham tops, show stopping ditsy dresses and headline-worthy tie-back playsuits!
All GIFs sourced from Giphy