Your Festival Survival Kit: Don’t Forget These Essentials….
So you’re heading off first-thing tomorrow for Glastonbury, and instead of packing tonight (like you promised yourself all week you would), you popped down the local for a couple o’ pints with the girls (what are you like, ey?), and now it’s dark, you’re tired, and you totally haven’t put your fave pineapple playsuit through the wash, ready-to-wear for the drive down. Yes, you suck, but if we’re honest with ourselves, we would’ve done the exact same thing… right down to that third 100%-gonna-regret-this tequila shot. Lucky for you (and you, and you, and you!), we prepared this nifty festival survival kit earlier… blue peter style.
While some of these items are downright essential (here’s looking at you, dry shampoo!), others… yeah, not so much.
The Shoulder Bag
First things first; that all-important shoulder bag. Forget this, and you’ll be forced to forage under the sink for that very last Tesco carrier; you know, the one that’s seen you through thick-and-thin ever since the 5p levy.
Sling the life-or-death necessities along with your festival wardrobe in the rucksack, and keep this for a few away-from-the-tent essentials, such as sun block, your water bottle and maybe even a toilet roll or two (no, seriously).
Festival Essential Rating – 10/10
The Dry Shampoo
Oh, so you were planning to shower each and every morning, if not again just before nightfall. Um… good luck with that. The queues are worse than a London artisanal burger pop-up, and if you do manage to secure a slot, don’t expect much. No, a little less. A little less. There we are!
IOW, dry shampoo will be your lifeline. Wash your hair the morning before you go, and spritz the hell out of it every night after.
Festival Essential Rating – 11/10
So Ed Sheeran’s just stepped up to the mike, ready to basically play the top 20 chart (well, sixteen tracks of it anyway), and the sun suddenly peaks overhead. Thank god you brought sunglasses. Crisis. Averted. Now get your phone out and watch the entire performance through your screen like a good millennial.
Festival Essential Rating – 8/10
The Face Wipes
Shower queues, remember?
Festival Essential Rating – off the chart!
Ok, so the dry shampoo’s just not cutting it, but com’on, did you really think that beer funnel you did on the first night was gonna’ end well? Enter, the baseball cap. Not only providing a so-now pop of pastel (you’re totes gonna stand out in Katy Perry’s snapchat crowd-shot!), but the ultimate disguise when your hair’s dirtier than Christina Aguilera circa 2002.
Festival Essential Rating – 6/10
The New Nokia 3310
Some of you will remember it as the greatest phone that ever existed, while others will struggle to see the difference between this and a dial-up. Whichever camp you’re in (and it will most like depend on whether you were born before or after sometime around 93), the Nokia 3310 is back!
Allegedly indestructible, the latest incarnation not only introduces a camera to the iconic design, but has a… wait for it… wait for it…. ONE. MONTH. BATTERY. LIFE.
Festival Essential Rating – 5/10
What do you need a watch for when you got your phone, we hear you say. An indestructible Nokia 3310 at that. Well, sledgehammer-resistant or not, that’s not gonna’ stop you from losing it, and then how’re you going to know when to put the tomato down, excuse yourself from battle, face-wipe yourself off, and pop on down to the pyramid stage in time for Radiohead?
Festival Essential Rating – 7/10
The Snapchat Spectacles
Probably not that essential, but hands down the best way to record those festivals antics ready to show your grandchildren one day. Or not show them. Probably best not, actually.
Festival Essential Rating – 2/10
Have we missed anything out? Help a fellow festi-friend, and jot it down in the comments below, before we introduce you to the five people you’re guaranteed to meet, whatever the festival!